That feeling of self confidence mixed with worthlessness. A dull sense of ‘I’m meant to be more than I am’. The constant heartbeat of your ambition and the ever present feeling that someone’s going to call you out… today, tomorrow, next week.
The black cloud above your head or stomach-walking-anger that comes with every day you don’t create something. My mum calls it the Collywobbles.
But most of all it’s that fear of knowing that you can’t do anything else, mixed with the fear of not knowing where your next idea is going to come from. Or if it’s going to be good.
Creativity is about hardship. If you’re happy you have nothing to say … that’s not to say you can’t create things that don’t have a happy ending. Cos even if you’re unhappy you can do that. Except Australian film makers. They can’t. Or the government just won’t give funding to those who can.